The moment left only vague traces in my memory.
That point in time when it dawned on me that one day is maybe already in the past. That my today had passed it somehow. That warp of the human time line is what is generally called a midlife crisis.
The things you wanna do one day ….. and have never done. That shock of seeing that it might be too late. Maybe you will never do them…. Ever!
But you had believed you would all your life.
People react very differently to that realization. Well, no. They don’t. It is a gender thing really.
See, men in their forties start looking for fresh flesh, young flesh. One that preferably does not speak but perform. In bed. They share their beds with younger women and it makes them feel better.
For women, that is naturally a different matter, a piece of flesh that doesn’t talk much is what most women already have in their marital beds. That piece of flesh often is the reason for having a crisis, not the solution to it.
I am not married so that fortunately does not apply to me. But I do feel just the same the unfortunate threat of getting old.
I my twenties I used to make sarky remarks about dentists in their 50s with a designer leather jacket and a Harley-Davidson in the well sized garage standing next to the Audi or Mercedes. Riding a Harley was the monogamous way of dealing with age in my view.
I am not a dentist now. But I own a big car. I have a career. I even own an Kookai leather jacket. I am 45.
I am one of the despised!!!